One of the best things that ever happened to me

One of the best things that ever happened to me was getting made redundant.

Yes, I know – shock horror – being told that you are going to be made redundant feels like the worst thing in the world at the time. It felt like I had been punched in the stomach. It felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I felt let down, like I’d done something wrong. It felt like I was being victimised. One takes it very personally.

But, y’know what? Almost two years later, to the day, I can quite honestly say that I would probably still be sitting there at my desk listening to the gossip and the whining and wishing I was somewhere else. Getting on planes, getting off planes, waking up in a hotel room and thinking you’re in Lyon, but actually you’re in Milan, spending an obscene amount of money at a Clinique counter in Brussels airport because my flight was delayed and I was bored (Heathrow T5, also a favourite). Sitting in meetings wishing I was somewhere else, being so stressed the only thing you can do is cry. Standing for hours in killer heels being nice to people on exhibition booths, again you’re in so much pain you just want to cry.

I remember driving through Zaventem with my colleague one morning and I told him that I was going to be a yoga teacher. This was before I knew I was going to be made redundant. This was what I sat at my desk and dreamt about whilst I was supposed to be devising lead generation strategies. Dunno if he remembers, but I’m sure he didn’t believe me at the time.

Now I’m doing something I love. Yes, I still have a day job, in marketing and it’s just down the road. Don’t get me wrong – I am VERY grateful for this job. The people I work with are tremendous and you couldn’t ask for nicer colleagues. The job is challenging and stressful, but it’s so much more tolerable because at 5pm I can take off my marketing hat and put on my yoga pants.

If I hadn’t been made redundant I would never have been able to afford to train to be a yoga teacher. I never saved anything, I would just fritter it away on designer clothes and killer heels so that I could stand on more exhibition booths knowing that I was one of the best dressed there. Yet one of the first lights at the end of the tunnel upon knowing that I was going to be made redundant, was the fact that I knew with complete clarity that I would be spending some of my redundancy money on yoga teacher training.

This weekend I’ve taught on a retreat for The Clover Mill. I teach there every Monday, but this weekend Julie asked if I would be willing to teach the whole weekend. I was honoured to be asked. To me, it means I’ve come a long way in my teaching that Julie had enough faith in me to let me teach her weekend retreaters. What an experience! I’ve gone from knee-quaking experiences during my teacher training to trying to build up two evening classes per week (sometimes only teaching to one person, or none), to two successful evening classes, plus another one at The Clover Mill, and now this retreat.

I am so grateful to everyone that has stuck with me and supported me over these life-changing two years. I’ve met so many great people, new friends and old have been nothing but encouraging. I am eternally grateful that I was made redundant and I am eternally grateful that I can now share the gift of yoga with the world.

Things I like

When I was a kid I used to write lists of things I liked.  Even though I’m an adult, I still think writing lists of stuff (as opposed to your work tasks or what you need from the supermarket) can be very cathartic.  A list like this can remind you to practice a little gratitude and it can conjure up happy memories of people or places.  When you’ve got the grumps, you can whip out your list and smile… so why not try it?  Make yourself a cup of tea, maybe get some chocolate, find a nice notebook and a pencil (no, the back of an envelope will not suffice) and write your list of things you like.  I have a couple of rules though:

1)  Don’t include individual people on your list.  So don’t name all 17 of your cats!

2) Don’t put music tracks you like.  This is a whole separate list!  Same goes for films.

3) Do put things you like doing, places you like, situations you like, foods you like, stuff you like reading about…

Here’s mine (in no particular order) and I’ve added in some helpful links!

• Yoga
• Birds of prey
• Pizza (gluten free of course) – I have these babies on repeat order!
• Cats (and all the cuddling opportunities therein!)
• Big cats
• Garden birds
• Sunsets
• Kissing in the rain
• Wearing my pyjamas all day
• Taking a bath
• Washing my hair
• Getting my nails done
• Beautiful shoes
• Beautiful views
• Great conversation
• Dinner with friends
• Cooking
• Cake (making and eating)
• Watching the entire BBC version of Pride & Prejudice in one go
• Reading yoga books
• Reading trashy novels
• Waking up late (not lounging around in bed, just waking up late)
• Real genuine belly laughs (mine or anyone else)
• Knitting
• Little boxes
• That smell when you walk into a hippy-type shop like Aquarius in Malvern, or Huckleberry Willow in Chesterfield (is that even still there?  Yup, apparently so!)
• Hugs
• Americano – black
• Peppermint tea (it’s an obsession)
• Flowers in my garden (the more colour, the better – honeysuckle, hydrangea and roses)
• Trees (big ones, small ones – it doesn’t matter)
• Midwinter Stonehenge Strawberry pottery (again, it’s an obsession)
• Baking bread
• Geocaching
• Feeling the warmth of the sun on my face
• Swimming in the sea
• Riding my mountain bike
• Walking on the Malvern Hills
• The Peak District
• The Lake District
• Lyon
• Playing in Newent Orchestra and feeling just a tiny part of that huge, powerful sound and almost being reduced to tears by it… thinking particularly of the time we played in Gloucester Cathedral
• The Bran Tub in Malvern.  It’s like Mecca.
• Coming home
• Cuddling up in bed when it’s absolutely freezing outside
• Proper traditional quilts
• Autumn leaves
• Beer
• Growing our own vegetables
• Bees
• Getting ready to go out
• Dancing like a demon
• Cranking up the music in my car… or house
• Speaking French
• Hats

Now I’ve started, I could go on for hours.  I guess it’s a way for my readers to get to know me a bit more… but at the same time I urge you to write a list like this.  It’s fun!  Feel free to share yours.

Whisperings

I’ve been having some treatment in the form of Cosmic Alignment Technique with my friend Sharon Richards who owns Power Blue Holistics.  Sharon is an amazing alternative and holistic health practitioner.  She has a great way of making you feel relaxed as soon as you walk through the door of her gorgeous little healing room.

Cosmic Alignment Technique is an energy healing system designed to nourish, calm, heal and relax you.  It’s a bit like Reiki, except that it’s not.  To me it seems to be a lot more powerful.  The treatment does a whole lot more than just provide relaxation.  If you want to know more about it, click on the link at the top of the page.

I wasn’t at all skeptical about the treatment, but I never expected it to be so profound either.  For example, I love all things holistic, but I’ve never been into angels.  Never seen one, never felt a presence.  Yet last Thursday, angels were whispering to me during my treatment.  No, I’m not schizo!  I was offered guidance, affirmations and reassurance about my true purpose.  To that end, on Friday I bought a pack of angel oracle cards.  Something told me to.  I did my first reading on Friday night when I came in from work.  More affirmations,  more help being offered.  It was scarily accurate.  The way is being pointed out to me, lit up with fairy lights and candles.  Fooook!!

Wheels have started turning.  Cogs are whirring.  Things are afoot.  Something big is about to happen for me.  Not only can I feel it, but I also know it.  Watch this space!!

This is the way!

(Image from dreamstime)

One of those days

I’m having one of those days. I wasn’t having one of those days this morning, but now I am and it’s really getting on my nerves.

I knew it. As soon as I stepped on my yoga mat and started to move, my whole body felt tight and tired. It probably didn’t help that I decided to do a Tiffany Cruickshank core flow on YogaGlo when really what I wanted to do was a nice restorative practice. I didn’t listen to my body and instead I told myself that I needed a good core workout. So I just pushed on through… and now I’m exhausted.

I’ve spent the afternoon curled up on the sofa trying to plan my classes for next week. I usually enjoy this, but today it’s been a chore. I also had in mind that I’d make a cake, do some online banking, write a blog post, do my class emailer…. and what have I done? NOTHING. A big, fat NADA.

And even now, even though I’ve accepted that I’m knackered, I still can’t stop beating myself up that I’m this, that and the other (mainly involving the word “lazy”).

So what to do:
1) Accept that I’m tired
2) Prioritise what needs to be done
3) Do what needs to be done
4) Then do something else that makes me happy, not something that I think I should be doing
5) Give myself a break and stop beating myself up

This is what I go on about in my classes – I talk about listening to your body, tuning in, working within your own limits blah, blah…. All very valid points, except that I am not very good at accepting my own advice!

I can’t expect to feel the same everyday. I have to learn to accept that some days my body will let itself be pushed and then pushed a bit more. Other days, it’s just not going to happen.

So, get off your arse, sit bones and RELAX, Kat. Be kind to yourself, Kat. Finish this post, do your banking and spend what’s left of the day doing something for you! Yes, YOU!!!!